Please Don’t Ask

I am a coward through and through,
please don’t ask me to rescue you,
please don’t ask me to champion your cause,
please don’t ask me to walk or love you dogs,
please don’t ask me to buy and read your book,
please don’t ask me again how good you look,
please don’t tell me your clever idea screenplay,
please don’t tell me about your app to save the day,
please don’t tell me about your imperfect first world strife,
please don’t tell others how to change and live their life,
please don’t tell me about your favorite sportsball team,
your favorite mental disorder makes me want to scream,
please don’t give me repeating melodramatic decrees,
please don’t ask me again without saying pretty please,
I don’t care about your favorite movie actor’s movements,
I don’t care about your special dietary requirements,
I don’t care about your pathetic dreams coming true,
I really can’t fathom anyone capable of loving you.
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Trapped and Unscathed

dream

 In another life I died and went to hell
this is where I happened to end up instead
with an unbelievable new tale to tell
writing with pulsations powering my head.

 Death is the least of my problems you see
evil comes with fancy packaging in the name of lust
until you I was trapped and with nowhere to be
now I am doomed and will again do what I must.

You stroll through life unscathed with destain
you get people to cheat and you ask them to lie
while everyone around you is suffering in pain
you get others to turn away as your targets die

If it wasn’t for people doing what they do
there would be nothing to despise or hate
you still don’t really know yourself do you?
when we were together I’d rather masturbate.

I Don’t Hate You Just Because

I don’t hate you for your religion,

I don’t hate you for your actions,

I don’t hate you for your politics,

I don’t hate you for your transactions.

I don’t hate you for the things you’ve done,

I don’t hate you for the many lies you’ve told,

I don’t hate you for the lives you’ve destroyed,

I don’t hate you for the things of mine you sold,

I don’t hate you because of who you are,

I don’t hate you because of what once was,

I don’t hate you because of your self,

I only hate you just because.

Hate you

I Hated My Mom and Now I Don’t

I called up my mom today for Mother’s Day and told her once again that I love her,
I could hear her cracked lips smack when she gushed out with joy and thanking,
I could tell she wasn’t wearing her teeth and that she was indeed my true mother,
we had a nice long conversation speaking about life but mostly about nothing,
we shared our shared disgust with the guy who used to call himself my brother.

She was widowed at a very young age with two screaming kids as part of the deal,
lucky for us all she found someone new and he was a good guy through and through,
despite the odds things turned out not that bad even though today things are surreal,
after I hung up I took myself out to a nice lunch and pretended she was there too,
I had my favorite herbivore meal and wrote this poem to tell her how I truly feel.

 As I was growing up I never really liked you that much and sometimes hated your guts,
we were never friends or close at all and we mostly got along through silent conjecture,
you were real nice to all of my friends though they thought you were completely nuts,
you embarrassed me often by just showing up and were never in lack of a loud lecture,
people thought you should never have had kids but instead should have picked coconuts.

Despite everything you had a faith in me that few others would admit or acknowledge,
you drilled into my skull that I could achieve anything that I set my soul to accomplish,
my biggest problem according to you was that I was too smart for my own knowledge,
she told me telling everyone what I really think would only lead me to great anguish,
stay out of trouble and graduate from high school and go to war instead of college.

The only real rule I had growing up was that on my eighteenth birthday I had to move out,
I would have to leave for good and under no circumstances would ever be welcome back,
although the worst that could happen was to be killed in action or in a global blackout,
the greatest gift ever given to you by me was to join the Navy at 17 so I’d be gone ASAP,
I sailed the seventh fleet to aim to please but when I returned found a well hidden rout.

I called you up to say goodbye and that duty was calling me and I was going to war,
we won the war and I made it back alive but never once received a letter from home,
my first x-mas back was spent alone because none of my family asked me to their door,
I did nothing that day but realize I was all alone in this life and heard the call to roam,
the last ten years of my military life was for a giant big fat ass fucking lying eyesore.

Although you’ve been in the same place for all of my life and only a phone call away,
it mostly seemed like you didn’t notice when I was around or if I was living in strife,
you would have been a little happier if I’d just go away and come back another day,
although I love you because you carried my ass for 9 months and eventually gave me life,
I’ve always felt like I was all alone in this world and that I had no real mother along the way.

Recoiled Kisses

hatelove

A pretty girl tried to kiss me on New Years Eve,
I recoiled in pain and disgust,
my smile she did misperceive,
as an invite for spontaneous lust.

She told herself I must be taken,
or gay or something like that,
she couldn’t have been more mistaken,
I just don’t engage in emotional chit-chat.

My deadness is easy to sense and see,
there must be someone who can wake what’s inside,
my world is full of chaff and debris,
until they appear I will live as if I have died.

Wemembering Everything Bad

We used to hate everything bad together for real good fun

wememberings of what happened 7 long hard years ago

which someone of the 5,000 friends is not the real one

when everybody stops we know it’s time to get up & go.

Life is just a job and what happens to us we call reality

sitting at the big kids table you only ask smart questions

the perceptions we have had between they us and we

rarely for the greater good do we engage in suggestions

having an opinion and giving advise is easy when it’s early.

Lovelust is the challenge and nothing much can be undone

do San Francisco with everything and anybody to do it with

socialize at a poetry night and challenge yourself to read one

we keep out of the hives as drones become part of the myth

a year of long weekends alone and stark yet still having fun.

My fb profile is nearly full with 1,052 active of 5,000 fbeople

what a non-boring city as an indolent bunch with our readings

they are an unfriend to make room for others at the steeple

they’ve obviously mistaken me for someone with no feelings.

 

i Know Not

i know it’s my fault
i know this by now
i know you meant it all
i know you know how.

i know your heart has no heat
i know i can’t be sure of mine
i know you laughed at my demise
i know you hope there’s no lifeline.

i know that you enjoyed yourself
i know that it’s now my turn
i know you’re still watching
i know you’re fearful that you’ll burn.

i know it’s not your fault
i know it hardly never ever is
i know your blood is laced with salt
i know you never ask why not.