I Hated My Mom and Now I Don’t

I called up my mom today for Mother’s Day and told her once again that I love her,
I could hear her cracked lips smack when she gushed out with joy and thanking,
I could tell she wasn’t wearing her teeth and that she was indeed my true mother,
we had a nice long conversation speaking about life but mostly about nothing,
we shared our shared disgust with the guy who used to call himself my brother.

She was widowed at a very young age with two screaming kids as part of the deal,
lucky for us all she found someone new and he was a good guy through and through,
despite the odds things turned out not that bad even though today things are surreal,
after I hung up I took myself out to a nice lunch and pretended she was there too,
I had my favorite herbivore meal and wrote this poem to tell her how I truly feel.

 As I was growing up I never really liked you that much and sometimes hated your guts,
we were never friends or close at all and we mostly got along through silent conjecture,
you were real nice to all of my friends though they thought you were completely nuts,
you embarrassed me often by just showing up and were never in lack of a loud lecture,
people thought you should never have had kids but instead should have picked coconuts.

Despite everything you had a faith in me that few others would admit or acknowledge,
you drilled into my skull that I could achieve anything that I set my soul to accomplish,
my biggest problem according to you was that I was too smart for my own knowledge,
she told me telling everyone what I really think would only lead me to great anguish,
stay out of trouble and graduate from high school and go to war instead of college.

The only real rule I had growing up was that on my eighteenth birthday I had to move out,
I would have to leave for good and under no circumstances would ever be welcome back,
although the worst that could happen was to be killed in action or in a global blackout,
the greatest gift ever given to you by me was to join the Navy at 17 so I’d be gone ASAP,
I sailed the seventh fleet to aim to please but when I returned found a well hidden rout.

I called you up to say goodbye and that duty was calling me and I was going to war,
we won the war and I made it back alive but never once received a letter from home,
my first x-mas back was spent alone because none of my family asked me to their door,
I did nothing that day but realize I was all alone in this life and heard the call to roam,
the last ten years of my military life was for a giant big fat ass fucking lying eyesore.

Although you’ve been in the same place for all of my life and only a phone call away,
it mostly seemed like you didn’t notice when I was around or if I was living in strife,
you would have been a little happier if I’d just go away and come back another day,
although I love you because you carried my ass for 9 months and eventually gave me life,
I’ve always felt like I was all alone in this world and that I had no real mother along the way.

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