Bad Friend Experience

You boo when there is a supoprtive cheer
you smile and nod nicely to my face
you pleasantly disagree with things dear
you bet against me and then rig the race
you grin but when i’m not looking it’s a sneer.

You laugh when i stumble with persistance
you frown when i am happy and succeed
you clap for long uncomfortable silence
you give bad advise when there is no need
I can’t stand the ‘Your Friend’ experience.

Infinite Mobius Feelings

 The lovey dovey period expands

please do that swirl thing that you love to do

emotional proximation convects

soul is measured in countable packets

when i hear you cry it’s for a reason

never knowing what the whole story is

infinite loop of mobius feelings

looks being unexpectedly captured

spooning and sleeping in the R.E.M.

everyone is beautiful in our dreams.

That’s That Again

 i do not smell that good smell that you smell

that’s not exactly what you think happened

that is only what you think of sometimes

suspension of that which you over think

that is only what you want me to think

that is what only you want me to think

that’s what you want to think of only me

that’s not what i said or even close to meant

the stove was not left on by me again.

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gelogenic nikhedonia

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idaotropic lethologica

jugulative for kakistocracy.

Aetherspheric Dream Mates

 

 Conflict resolution in R.E.M.

torturous melodramatics involve

our dreams are blending aethersperheically

convection from all three conscious levels

brands about them are somewhat revealing

sleeping through the good parts of everything

bait with hot and switch emotions with cold

give all you have and take nothing but love

offer a wet tongue and withdraw a smile

lovely sleeping mates are always about.

Floating Time Vortex


Imagine you were born and raised on a big fancy floating dome
destined to live a long happy life and never yearn to see the shore
the Pacific ocean vortex is where you have always called home
your dome-ship is drifting with everything you could want or adore
born with a time-age-dilation and everyone wants to have your clone.

When alone you don’t age one little bit and in essence time does stop like Zen
when in the visual company of others you age slowly but very exponentially
the more people you can see the faster you age and that can see you is x 10
going to a ball game with a few friends would age you a week for being sociably
catching a home-run or for some other reason being on national t.v. would do you in.

Whenever you wish for something new or exotic to taste – smell – feel – hear and see
all of your desires are provided for as long as it doesn’t include drifting near sand
a ship arrives silently the very next day with everything including your favorite party
your guests are dazzled by your worldly brilliance and envy your luxurious life span
they are baffled that you’re content aging alone and get by by having fun and being arty.

You give the tour and explain every inch of the dome-home that was built to perpetually sift
there is only one part of the boat you don’t understand and gave up trying along time ago
the emergency navigation system is there in case for some reason you drift to close to the rift
it can weather any storm but usually avoids them with the precognitive advance slip stream
it will propel you back to where you began to once again begin a long trip with the vortex drift.

For as long as you can remember the emergency navigation system has been activated twice
once when you were too young to understand what was going on but remember it well anyway
the other not long ago and the feelings still linger of calling the big bluff and roll the shore dice
you’ve been preparing for this your whole life but wasn’t quite sure the direction to swim away
you often feel the shoreline is just out of sight and took the risk to swim to the horizon thrice.

When the party’s over everyone leaves with the supply ship and they never return again
a new group of people will arrive the next time to provide your material necessities
there’s always a person you wish could stay longer just to share in one little sin
when that happens the dome begins to drift towards the time vortex with ease
there is no purpose when you are always alone and perpetually at begin.

Your one true wish is to be able to swim beyond the distant horizon
you exchanged it for a cerebral transubstantiation aging dilation
in your world you need not and are the ruler of an entire ocean.

i Now Know No

i don’t know who you really are
i don’t know why you’re really here
i understand the near and far
i understand the confusion and fear.

Now is the moment to be in power
now is the way to rightfully be
now is the key to the knowledge tower
now is the power to finally see.

Know is what i very want to sing
know is what i’ve always swerved
no is the answer to everything
no is the answer that’s deserved.

Are You We

Are you going to abandon me
are you going to turn and run
are you going to listen to me
are we going to experience fun ?

Are you who you say you are
are you who you want to be
are you who you are by far
are we going to together see ?

Are you dancing to the same beat
are you on the same frequency
are you someone we want to meet
are we going to redefine delinquency ?

i Can Will

i can never love another find
i can never trust once it seems
i will always speak my open mind
i will always remember my dreams.

i can never let someone touch me
i can never let anyone in once again
i will always need to be in a deep sea
i will always be alone in our original sin.

i can never be without someone to fear
i can never feel what i want you too to see
i will always sense your glowing eathersphere
i will always feel it when you’re thinking of me.

 

i Know Not

i know it’s my fault
i know this by now
i know you meant it all
i know you know how.

i know your heart has no heat
i know i can’t be sure of mine
i know you laughed at my demise
i know you hope there’s no lifeline.

i know that you enjoyed yourself
i know that it’s now my turn
i know you’re still watching
i know you’re fearful that you’ll burn.

i know it’s not your fault
i know it hardly never ever is
i know your blood is laced with salt
i know you never ask why not.

i Never Wish

i wish that i had cheated,
i wish that i had often lied,
i wish i had the realisation,
your soul had long ago died.

i wish that i had left sooner,
i wish that i had quickly run,
i wish i had the realisation,
being with you was no fun.

i wish i could forget your face,
i wish i could forget your voice,
i wish i had the ability,
to turn back time and make another choice.

i wish i wasn’t shattered
i wish i wasn’t broken
i wish that when my parents met,
never a word was spoken.

i wish there was faith,
i wish there was belief,
i wish i could remember,
the feeling of pleasant relief.

i wish sometimes it all would end,
i wish sometimes i couldn’t stop
i wish sometimes to take my eyes,
off of the distant mountain top.

i wish i couldn’t understand,
i wish i could just give up,
i wish someone would hold my hand,
who wasn’t pushing me down.

Pharmacide: free download available
http://www.smashwords.com/booksview/43344

Perifial Perceptive Existence

Urban cloud chasers chasing and climbing their transparent relative reality
people pay more attention to the lives of they on t.v. than those they hate
men are programmed to use women for sex and like whores they utilise men for money
worshiping a god of impoverished sacrifice and subconsciously striving to emulate
blatantly avoid the truth so they can keep blindly living your facebook fantasy
the pseudo-profundity of a mass produced artificial emotion of substantial equivalence
biomorphic geemosapian clones among us that are programmed with news not really
always hedging their bets with the continuous next bigger better deal first date
like wanting to get rid of your elbow but needing to keep the hand to be wavy
relinquishing the future by caring more about what they wear and how they rate
the old regime is morphing into a new world order of aetherspehreical mind gravy.

Well dressed and battered and have forgotten how to kiss a her
ostracised forcibly from the reality of those around the aether
there’s not many around to party with or who doesn’t want me dead
where did all the people go in which to speak with intelligently
afraid that what might be said may hurt their agenda that’s hidden
everyone is watching and those who are close by keep a safe distance
unfinished business everywhere and there is little positive motivation
when analysed objectively i only exist partially and a bit peripherally
this is my trauma working itself out from within inside your unhead
conceive and produce disingenuous information in one form or another
please be a placebo for my malady and i’ll be your emotional blender.

Some people are nice and others fucking suck so which one do you often resist
either way everyone is standoffish once they get close enough to a real being
two more people are needed just to make one and once again begin to really exist
listen intently until understand something you can be verbally be disagreeing
invite them to parties at the last minute to tell yourself you tried and persist
avoid at all costs being introduced with reluctance and something of condesendance
when what you read before you walks into a room everyone suddenly has another list
responding to everything before thinking brings a high level of mis-comprehending
from the imponderable to the irrational cries of urgency are now met with a fist
is everyone else being mostly wrong all the time even when they are logicalizing
which romantic tragedy are you making yourself a part of now that you must enlist.

Do you:
see morphic fields of emotional echoes in an atmosphere of uncertain transubstantiation
tell others only part of the story and leave the secret part you planned yourself out
often verbally cut with snide remarks and retreat from what was once was common ground
make people ask for the same thing over and over again and again and again all day
like to see pleading for something decided is theirs anyway just to enjoy seeing them beg
point out everything that is wrong and never seem to get around to the right desire

Would you:
take a burn victim to the beach on a hot sunny day one day after the gasoline fire
ask a rape victim out on a date with the blood and cum still dripping down her leg
go fishing with friend and when they are not looking make all the fishes swim away
negatively say no to everything first and then mindlessly ponderously loudly expound
condescend to people even though you haven’t even a clue or any real emotional clout
go spiral gliding with me into the vortex of a creatively repriseful tribulation.

i practice writing backwards with my left hand and regularly with the right
i never speak to strangers until spoken to first and never in the night
i rarely smile and when it happens they are forced and fleeting from sight
i am not living and superficially died although sometimes wonder if i might
i don’t like big crowds unless there is loud music, cleavage and strobes of light
i know you’re temporary and that’s why my senses are saying to offer little resistance
i will never love again because the capacity to do so have long since perished
i never know who to trust so i trust no one and that seems to be generally cherished
i will not pursue you in any form and most likely will run away and try to perish
i want my brain to to turn off or explode but she always seems to try being bearish
i am not comfortable being one-on-one or in small or large groups of the garish.

Negative bias infects all forms of communication and it’s easy to detect
giving preformed opinions about life before knowing the full complete story
nobody now knows each other any more and not many really want the neglect
everything has to be done slightly different than what works orginoptimally
thousands of connections and 1 friend at a time while searching for respect
only attend parties that are full of dark strangers offering passive resistance
lost experiences that never happened and nobody to share with the glory
any time i do anything with anyone it always has to be done by their way
it’s not much fun doing everything with ghosts who never get tired of gory
a leader forced to follow people always hedging their bets on yesterday
where can i find anyone who wants to play and take a cerebral inventory.

Please stop asking me how i’m doing today because the answer is always the same
when they ask you’ll be tempted to tell them the truth that makes them go away
the kindness of strange is just about the only kind of kindness that ever came
they like to see me climb just so they can enjoy helping me fall day after day
you can count on me to let your false expectations down with only you to blame
fun would be nice if you can get it but settle for the absence of pain resistance
returning home from a trip and nobody realises that you’ve returned or were away
drop in long enough to find out what going on and make sure it does just the same
subconsciously incapable of trusting anyone including those who deserve to stay
don’t tell me things will be okay because that was heard flushed down the drain
eating raw garlic one clove at a time and warping reality with the defame game.

Hurry up and wait while being precisely criticised but never thoroughly analysed
you think you are in control but are really not aware of how you actually survive
the odds are against us and the deck is stacked by a pretend friend who’s demised
they who were invited to the table changed the game is now staring at your back
life has been passing by while sitting somewhere quietly and sort writing about it
hugging is like holding a stripped naked tree full of dreams about bark subsistence
not being there when you are needed and instead being a passive aggressive placebo
can you spew any more jingoistic blathering or simply another kind of sweet bullshit
all habits are emotionally driven and programmed by our experiential environments
it would be nice to die in someone’s arms someday and hopefully it’s with a friend
love is something we lose and once trust is lost it is lost forever down the grinder

my dreams become nightmares whey they begin to include anything resembling her
the cobwebs of my mind are laced with poison memories she left behind to send
your experiential trauma doesn’t fit very well with mine and my experiments
the forgiveness you are seeking can only be fulfilled with a justice permit
stand there and wave and give bad advice and never get involved or get past go
making something out of what is not by creating moments of cognitive dissonance
things in equilibrium are the most efficient with unnecessary tweaks are aborted
being single and alone is something that has already been accepted as a fact
not part of any group or family or friends or tribe that’s living or organised
open the doors of perceptive pleasure centres and let the reprogramming revive
strong memories are fake or painful and you wonder why we’re all anti-socialised.

For me writing a poem is like singing a song and once it’s fully written it’s sung
moments of cerebral drifting crash like a wave of hand scribing upon a moleskin sheet
running red ink across the paper mostly with my left hand and sometimes with the wrong
waking up and once again fooling myself into a dream state of wakeful partial sleep
they work for most everyone obviously but were meant for someone like me only strong
it’s easy to find a way to explain away that which you don’t want to believe with insistence
my writing is not meant to be perfectly crafted clusters of a representative memory
when i read words of hope and inspiration i can’t help but grin and nod horizontally
minds extend beyond brains and in a collective in which we are all plugged into partially
chance combined with coincidence fuels the free ride of deference and selective memory
consciousness emanates in an aethersphere of perceptual dimensions and we are # 13.

Pharmacide: http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/43344

Let’s Meet

I can tell you things that you’ve never heard,
and show you things you’ve never seen.
What is it that you do,
from which I may gleen?

We can meet for lunch,
or maybe tea.
You can tell me about you,
and then about me.

It’s not sex I want,
or be friends with benefits either.
It’s an exchange of ideas,
over a pint or a liter.

You tell me yours,
I’ll tell you mine.
If the energy is right,
together they will shine.

Dream Valentine

I need you so bad I’m all empty without you.
I know it’s an impossible dream to do.
The dream makes me feel extraordinarily new.
I don’t think I could handle the real and whole you .

My heart will stop beating,
the moment you touch my hand.
My eyes will start melting,
and blood turn to sand.

You are always so beautiful too,
I still can’t tell how you look when I see.
If I had only one wish I would give it to you,
and pray that you make it for me.

A midnight sound check on your vocal cords from me,
with the rest of your strings to follow,
I’ll tune you up and then turn you on,
pick you up and play you till dawn.

Giving you pleasure is all that I live for,
wherever we’ve finished with one to do.
You’ve got another one coming,
or maybe even three or two.

I don’t care what you think of me,
just treat me like your private whore.
With the bill paid well in advance,
now and forever more.

Whip me, beat me, lick me,
screw me and come all over my snout.
Tell me you love me a thousand times,
pick up your things and then get the fuck out.

Neither is More



Neither is More Artistic but that’s not really the reason for the case
Neither is More Charismatic each with one a unification face
Neither is More Cocky but they hold their own and set the quick pace
Neither is More Cool because they’ve been to the top and can see the whole race

Neither is More Into Drugs but it really depends on which
Neither is More Energetic and neither has an off or on switch
Neither is More Friendly and each can be a son of a bitch
Neither is More Good and each come with their own little hitch

Neither is More Mathematically Inclined and wants something that’s sold
Neither is More Verbally Inclined and spying each other for yearning yet untold
Neither is More Desiring of Love and each having a brand new mold
Neither is More Old-Fashioned with one of them a new surrealistic adventure mode

Neither is More Confident because with them around there’s no need to vote
Neither is More Seriousness because that went out on an Etherflow boat
Neither is More Spontaneous when I am the fire and you are the stoke
Neither is More Political because it’s all just a sad and sorry old joke

Neither is More Romantic because Rome isn’t what it once was
Neither is More Competitive except when it comes to rubbing the fuzz.