If you’re looking for true romance,
don’t come knocking around here,
there’s no one with whom to dance,
I’m neither gay, straight, bi or queer.
There is no hand to hold yours,
no warm lips to tongue kiss,
nobody here to hold your doors,
nobody to hurt, forget or miss.
There will be no magic tummy flitter,
there will be no picturesque sunsets,
what you get is something nice and bitter,
invisible me and a future of pleasant regrets.