Consciousnesses, Narcissism and Passive-Aggressive Behavior

We’ve all experienced passive-aggressive behavior in one form or another, either on the giving or receiving end.  Teasing a sibling, a joke at a friends expense or telling a half-truth to a parent.  It can show itself at anytime and anyplace where there are two or more egos at work. In small doses it can be annoying and sometimes funny. When exercised by the ego driven narcissist, it can lead to psychological torture, personal tragedy and even fatality.

While differing with outright aggressive and combative behavior, the passive aggressor results to obstructionist activity and psychic resistance to following through on expectations and obligations at the expense of another, or others.  Their actions are marked by a permeating pattern of negative attitudes and passivity, unwarranted criticism, usually unacknowledged resistance toward positive progress in interpersonal or occupational situations and relationships. Although it can be exerted by strangers, it is more commonly observable with friends, family and colleagues.

Passive-aggressive behavior can manifest itself consciously and subconsciously as active or imagined helplessness, procrastination, unyielding obstinacy, personal resentment and deliberate-repeated failure to accomplish agreed upon tasks and objectives for which they have accepted responsibility; all veiled in the appearance of friendship, love and camaraderie. Emanating from the primary instinct to survive, the passive-aggressive narcissist crosses the line of disorder by quietly deriving emotional pleasure with the observance of the negative and frustrating effects of their actions and non-actions. Being nice and mean at the same time, is their emotional addiction.

Imagine for a moment you are paddling a canoe forward towards a goal and there are others paddling with you. While you have trusting people at your back offering positive reinforcement and actions by paddling with you, even when you are not looking, the passive aggressors sit toward the back and only paddle when you take the time to turn around and interact with them. When your attention is diverted, they stop paddling, or worse, put their oars in the water to slow the trip down or change direction.


We are our ego, and narcissistic tendencies are drivers to live and survive. As our birth yields the beginning of conflict and satisfaction, the unfolding of our psychic development is accomplished with a Universal structure of unconsciousness, as language and images. The formative and deformative power of narcissistic tendency development begin with the family, and how the complexes manifest. The seeds of aggression and passive-aggression are planted here.

Below are examples of three basic complexes as set forth in Lacan‘s “Les Complexes Familiaux”.

  • Weaning:  primordial relationship with mother
  • Intrusion:  relationship with siblings, rivalry-jealousy
  • Oedipus :  love for one parent and rivalry with the other


Narcissism, at its core, is libidinal in nature. While all living species have the natural instinct to survive, primary narcissism, it is the secondary narcissism that makes us unique in our psychic development, therefore human.  Phenomenologically, much of our psychic activity is unconscious and subject to pre-depositional bias, environmental and cultural influences.  While it is impossible to reduce consciousness and primary ego identification, the subconscious is continuously influenced by desire and culturally relativistic experiences.  Instincts are driven and are in direct relationship to the (objects) of the desire and the unconscious nature of libido.

While well adapted and psychically developed humans  experience various forms of love and relationships, the narcissistic passive-aggressor is subjugated to observance. They never achieve emotional fulfillment or relational bliss because their basic nature is to harm those around them, either directly (consciously) or indirectly (subconsciously). They are emotional leeches.


Images  cannot exist independently from the subject, therefore every subject, thought or concept, is somehow connected either directly with the conscious or indirectly with the subconsciousness.


Warped Speed Mind Healing

If a mind can be twisted it can surly be mended,
not by those who have to gain what you are about to lose.
Doctors, therapists and psychiatrists are bended,
treating something like its broken when its really a bruise.

Just because you’re hearing voices and seeing a new thing,
that doesn’t mean you are deficient like they want you to believe.
Doctors are only partially right 100% of the time they ping,
when asked most will only recite what the dsm labels your reprieve.

Why is it that drugs that let us feel good instantly,
are made by and large expensive and illegal?
The drugs that they are not sure what they do,
most cause anhedonia but are considered noble and legal.

Why does is seem from their limited perspective,
they are the ones that know what to do.
They are only there to see everyone at their worst,
and are never around for the normal part deux.

Too many of them and too few of us,
for anything like effective mind recovery.
People are nothing more to many of them,
than one step closer to their next big discovery.

They’re here to heal but don’t really understand how,
offering all of their empty help our minds can now sing?
DBSA and the NAMI groups perpetuate a familiar lie,
that everyone is somewhat sick and can’t do anything .

Schizophrenic this and bipolar that and lets not forget depression,
they only focus on what to call all of the others.
I wonder how they would like to be labeled in negative regression,
by all of our disenfranchised sisters and brothers.

Only deal with those who prove themselves,
to be your personalized recovery practitioner.
If they say there is no such thing on their shelves,
then they’re nothing more than a drug dealing executioner.

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