She sucked in her teeth and grabbed her bag,
followed me out to the car to go all of the way,
commenting on how she thought me as being a fag,
I never told her anything because it’s my birthday,
for my present she bosses me around with a gag.
She had on her shoulders a young good head,
putting out for me not needed but she wanted to,
cozening up to me instead of a you is all she said,
plenty of other Sweet Boy fish in the ocean blue,
I too know how to make ghosts disappear dead.
I watched you sipping sideways sitting at the bar,
you were something like me and just couldn’t see it,
short neat hair and deep set eyes brooding from afar,
that made women look and do more than they admit,
hoping they are mistaken and act like a porn star.
Inside the club the dimmed down lights were velvet red,
everything happens more quickly than you expected it to,
lock the doors and stand guard then fill your guns with lead,
it doesn’t matter running ahead while warning what to do,
can’t order out for the time and place once we have fled.
The camera blocks all front shots of the hands and faces,
send them running back where standard intimidation belongs,
some stare at us instead refusing to hide in the dark places,
you saw me and didn’t turn away with rights and wrongs,
you weren’t alone on the dance floor looking for traces.
Standing protectively in the V of your bare slim elegant legs,
when it reaches your mouth it starts off low like a burning growl,
shifting your arms tighter you saw me knowing that she begs,
when burning hits your throught it gets louder like a howl,
arms wound around my neck pulling against the dregs.
The sound of fingers being pried one by one off a rock,
coming loose from the gut with burning and ripping pain,
a stuck-coming-loose-sound from my trembling inside clock,
you body wrenching loosely shaking and coming in vein,
the bureau speakers sing the sounds of my wet jock.
With sounds heard coming from labor rooms the house is shaking,
this ass-kicking world expects to be trembling with you my only goal,
it’s me trembling now and free falling arms out like a bird and stretching,
swimming away from the surface towards the bottom of the blue hole,
what’s coming next is darker still with my bluedark shadow following.
The cave hole narrows as we swim toward the blue brightness,
you get there first and turn and wave to me to stroke your breast,
kicking freestyle through the swell of the water and its blue deepness,
I still feel you everywhere when you’ve disappeared like the rest,
your laugh is inside my every molecule making me act clueless.
When I come with you there every part of my body is slack,
the shaking over and done with I can now hear your breathing,
feeling the life drumming underneath I let myself think and fall back,
placing your heart over my chest and sway with the sheathing,
without thinking or trying you inhaled and made me your snack.
Transmogrified from a short story by Helen Klonaris